“Killer Hobbits—The Movie” — FWG Flash Fiction for 7/5/2025
- Rob Johnson
- Jul 11
- 2 min read
What we see on the screen is often called “Movie Magic.” What if it really was magical?
The prompt is:
KILLER HOBBITS—THE MOVIE
David held his hands up with outstretched thumbs touching. “It’s missing a steeple.”
The AD, Jonesy, shrugged. “We can CGI that in. No problem.”
David nodded and dropped his hands. “The round window fits, but the plaster—”
Jonesy snorted. “Not a problem. The AI will fix it.”
“Everything’s ‘CGI this’ and ‘AI that’ nowadays, isn’t it?”
Jonesy laughed despite David looking like he swallowed a lemon. “Modern cinema, Mate. Gotta ride the wave…”
“…or get drowned by it,” David finished the now-familiar phrase. “Okay. Do your magic on the inside. I need to start shooting “Killer Hobbits” in two weeks.”
Two Weeks Later
David eyed the dilapidated interior. The smell of rotting wood, rodent feces, and the dead rodents themselves made his eyes water. He cocked his head, listening to the persistent chatter of the local extras already in full costume jabbering in their incomprehensible language.
“Jonesy, this isn’t ready. You said—”
“I know what I said.” Jonesy’s voice was muffled by a respirator. Gone was his carefree attitude. “But half my crew have disappeared. The rest have quit. I’ve had to hire locals—”
“I don’t give a damn about your lack of people skills. I need to start shooting.”
“Another week, Mate. I promise.”
One Week Later
When David walked onto the set, he was astounded by the transformation. It looked exactly like the Shire. Jonesy, though, was nowhere to be found, and the only people around were those extras in full hobbit costume.
David stopped one as he walked by. “Great costume.” He reached out to touch the extra’s large, pointed hobbit ears. “The prosthetics are amaz—”
The hobbit chattered angrily, then chomped down on David’s hand with his pointy teeth. A dozen other Killer Hobbits rushed out of their refurbished church, teeth gnashing.
THE END
Killer Hobbits? Now that’s a twist! If they ever invade, I hope they spare the stunning gardens inspired by Austin Landscapes; too beautiful to be part of any Shire showdown!