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Good Bones -- FWG Flash Fiction for 1/21/2023

I'm still in a humorous mood, even though it wasn't a great week. Anyway, this week's prompt is:

Good Bones

Joe eyed the dilapidated house.

"Well, it needs some work."

The real estate agent sniffed. "It's a steal at this price. Lots of room left in your budget for improvements."

It was Joe's turn to sniff. "It looks like a total demo," he mumbled. "Six months at least to flip this one."

"Market's gonna take off in six months. You're buying low and selling high."

"I'm not buying anything, yet." He looked across the cemetery that passed for a front lawn. "What's with all the graves?"

"Oh, they're included in the price." The agent forced a smile.

Joe couldn't tell if she was joking. "I mean, how do I get rid of them? Can I just pull up the tombstones? Plant grass and call it a day?"

The agent didn't bat an eye. "What tombstones? I don't see any tombstones."

Joe just smiled.


Six Months Later

"It was a total gut job, but the place has great bones."

That's because they're my bones. The voices in his head wouldn't shut up.

The young couple stood in awe of the marble counter tops, the ten-foot ceilings, and the polished hardwood floors.

Are you going to tell him we come with the house?

He called that voice Lucy because she reminded him of the Peanuts character.

"Not now," he hissed. The couple looked at him.

You disturbed us. Tell them right now, or we will.

"OK, I'll tell them."

"Tell us what?" The young woman sounded nervous.

"Well, in the spirit of full disclosure--"

The woman clasped her hands to her ears and the man spun around looking for the source of the voices in their heads.

When the echoes of their screams and squealing tires died out, Joe said to the laughter in his head, "All right. I'll add you to the listing."

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